Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
She is a social worker. An actual good person trying to save the world. I feel like every time I give her an orgasm God wipes a little smudge off of my shit list.
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
So... I sharted on the plane. It was hard to maintain my composure and acted offended at the same time. I hate you for not cutting me off last night.
Randomize
