Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
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