I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
Randomize
