I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
Randomize
