I like my sex mixed with concussions.
if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
Just crushed a xanax into my chewing gum. Its gonna be a long, fucking up flight...
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
Randomize
