i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
Oh you know just explaining sexual consent to a drunk 80 year old man. How is this my life?
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
Randomize
