his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
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