I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
Tomorrow's Mother's Day and the only thing I can afford is beer and the McDonalds dollar menu. Do you think a Budweiser and a Big Mac says thank you for me fucking up your life since 1990?
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
Randomize
