I hate all girls vehemently.
I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
Randomize
