i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
So my niece decided to play "lets make shapes out of your bruises" with me and told me that one of them looks like a shark bite. Bravo, sir. Bravo.
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
