So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
Drunk purchased a negligee, plan b, keds and Himalayan salt shot glasses.. there’s only one reasonable purchase there, and we both know it’s not the sneakers
Randomize
