rhymes with "ouble enetration"
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
THERE ARE LEGITLY 4 SEPARATE BITE MARKS ON MY DICK. WHAT. THE. FUCK.
Legitimately*
Go fuck yourself
Randomize
