she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
Pretty sure I asked the person at the pharmacy counter in Walgreens to marry me last night. But also remember Rachel Maddow crawling through the TV screen, so my memory might be a bit compromised...
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
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