Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
Oh and .... you'll love this: my life coach says you writing my online dating profile isn't a horrible idea.
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
Randomize
