Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
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