no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
I was giving him a blow job in the kitchen, but it was uncomfortable. so i took the oven mitts and used them as knee pads.
Don't tell me i'm not fucking resourceful.
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
Randomize
