FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
Please tell me you werent the one who replaced every beer bottle in my fridge with a picture of a baby kitten.
... and if i was..
Fuck. You.
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
Randomize
