you left your dildo in my car
rules of finders keepers apply
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
If you think hives from an allergic reaction to lube is funny, remind me to tell you the story about how I got a black eye from masturbating.
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
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