i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
why did I try to FaceTime with 311 last night?
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
Randomize
