he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
Randomize
