I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
This gyro tastes like lonliness
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
Thanks to a poorly written tweet a whole bunch of people thought I died last night.
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toyâ€
Randomize
