DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Randomize
