meet me in the bathroom in 10 mins.
wait what? who are you hooking up with in the bathroom?!
aww shit wrong text.
I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
2020 sucks, I want a refund
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