when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
Randomize
