I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
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