no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
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