is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
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