Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
After last night, I think I need a service animal to monitor the life choices I make when I'm inebriated. A monkey, or a clever dog. Or a really assertive parrot.
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
I was 40 minutes late to work today because I was getting fucked. Walked in to discover that it's apparently performance review day. Employee of the year.
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
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