he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
Dating a girl 4 years younger than you is like living in a Taylor Swift song...
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
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