big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
See, remember when you wanted to get an Ashley Madison account and I told you not to and you hated me? You. Are. Welcome.
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
Randomize
