So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
How did you make it to work sans hangover?
4 words: Clif Bar soaked in tequila. Just like albert pujols
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
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