If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize
