Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
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