I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
I’ll call you in a minute. Trying to book an AirBnB so I can finally bang the yummy guy from yoga
Your downward dog is going to rock his cock. I’m jealous
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