You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
whose parrot is this?
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
Randomize