Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
Randomize
