They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
Randomize
