I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
I was just wished a Happy Valentine's Day by the (Mexican) Chinese food delivery guy. I've never had clearer "get your life together" message than that.
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
You make any dick jokes involving sushi and there WILL be consequences.
Sushi is fucking sacred in this house and I will kill you if you try and taint that.
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
Randomize
