I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
Randomize
