trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
Just got a call at work, I have to consent to a random drug and alcohol test by end of business day, if you arranged this it's the best/worst April fools prank ever.
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
Randomize
