I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
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