I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
Sometimes he's such a bitch I forget that he's not actually a girl. Last night I asked him if I could borrow a tampon.
He had some in his pocket. That was weird.
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
What's the rule on cocaine before dinner?
Its 11 o'clock somewhere
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
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