smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
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