what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
Randomize
