do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
you know what scares the shit out of me? i have eaten bagel bites since i was a little kid and just in the past five years they started puting "made with real cheese" WHAT THE FUCK WERE THEY USING BEFORE? i mean ive been a bagel biter since the womb
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
Randomize
