everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
Randomize
