my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
Randomize
