Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
mom just said that her bf is good in bed. fml.
i am watching a movie about a vagina with teeth and then you sent that to me while im eating sushi.
my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
he told me I talked like a deaf person
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
Randomize
