dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
The cashier looked at my basket, looked at me and said "That's a lot of wine." I looked at her and said "Mother in law." She nodded approvingly.
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
Randomize
