So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
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