is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
I left a care package of Jack Daniel's, pancake mix and porn in your apartment. Merry fucking Christmas.
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
Randomize
