God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
Randomize
