She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
Randomize
