So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
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