is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
sarcasm needs its own font
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
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