im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
Randomize
