Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
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