I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
yeah, I said "hi, I'm the creepy old guy at the college bar" and she said that she like mature men, wasn't expecting that line to work
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
