I bet he comes in French.
How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
IF THE GUY WHO I AM BORROWING OUR CAR FROM FINDS ONE CONDOM OR JIZZ STAIN IN THIS CAR HE IS GOING TO CASTRATE MY ASS. SERIOUSLY, DON'T FUCK IN THE CAR.
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
I'm going to need you to stop harassing my professor on Twitter when you're drunk.
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