i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
Randomize
