I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
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