you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
MY FUCKING CAT JUST GAVE BIRTH AND IM FUCKING STONED AND I FUCKING DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
Randomize
