was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
Emergency nipple ring removal:vodka, tweezers, and vodka. Can you bring me a band-aid?
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
Randomize
