sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
Apparently I've texted the word shitfucked so much it auto-completes it now.
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
Randomize
